I lost a piece of me in you
I think I left it in your arms
I forget the reasons I got scared
But remember that I cared quite a lot
You see but lately I've been on my own
Yeah one, but one by choice
You see, that's a first for me
There's only me, yeah there's only me
And now I realize for once it's just me
It's just me
It's just me
And I'll find a way to make it
There's no-one left to stop me
Here I go
Can we take it from the top?
Chorus:
So why so long?
So sad, I wanna be strong.
Don't try to take this from me
I'm already spent living half my life undone
So why so long?
So sad, I wanna be strong
Don't try to take this from me
I've already spent my life living half undone
I've been talking to my aunts and uncles, mom and dad again
I've been finding out that I have what this world calls friends
I've tried to push them all away
They push me back and wanna stay
And that's one good thing I have
I'm gonna feel a peace in me
I'm gonna feel at home
I'm gonna make this cloud above me disappear, be gone
I wanna feel a punch inside my heartbeat on the floor
I don't wanna hurt no more
Yeah, it's just me
It's just me
And I'll find a way to make it
There's no-one left to stop me
Here I go, can we take it from the top?
Chorus:
So why so long?
So sad, I wanna be strong
Don't try to take her from me
I've already spent my life living half undone
So why so long?
So sad, I wanna be strong
Don't try to take her from me
I've already spent my life living half undone
I used to be the one who won before
I used to smile but don't no more
I'm living just to watch it all go by
**********
It's Just Me
18th Floor Balcony
I close my eyes and I smile
Knowing that everything is all right
To the core, so close that door
Is this happening?
My breath is on your hair
I'm unaware that you opened the blinds
And let the city in
God, you held my hand, and we stand
Just taking in everything
Chorus:
And I knew it from the start
So my arms are open wide
Your head is on my stomach
And we're, we're trying so hard not to fall asleep
Here we are on this 18th floor balcony
We're both flying away
So we talk about moms and dads
About family pasts
Just getting to know where we came from
Our hearts were on display for all to see
I can't believe this is happening to me
And I raise my hand
As if to show you that I was yours
That I was so yours for the taking
I'm so yours for the taking and
That's when I felt the wind pick up
I grabbed the rail while choking up
These words to say and then you kissed me
Chorus:
Yeah, I knew it from the start
My arms are open wide
Your head is on my stomach
And we're, we're trying so hard not to fall asleep
Here we are on this 18th floor balcony
We're both flying away
And I'll try to sleep
To keep you in my dreams
Till I can bring you home with me
I'll try to sleep
And when I do I'll keep you in my dreams
Chorus:
And I knew it from the start
So my arms are open wide
Your head is on my stomach
And we're, we're trying so hard not to fall asleep
So here we are on this 18th floor balcony, yeah
I knew it from the start
So my arms are open wide
And your head is on my stomach
No, we're not going to sleep
Hre we are on this 18th floor balcony
We're both flying away
**********
18th Floor Balcony is a beautiful Blue October song, introduced live. It is track 13 on Foiled. It appears on the DVD part of the live recording Argue With A Tree, though it was left off of the double CD.
An extract from an old, rare interview at HFS time, with Justin:
DMG: Is there any song you wish you hadn't made public?
Justin: Oh yeah, yeah. This one song that I played called "18th Floor Balcony". I really...it was written at a time where I wasn't thinking right, and it really hurt the relationship that I was in. I never really...it's only been played twice. Most people come up and play that and I just go (winces), "Man, c'mon! Not cool."
18th Floor Balcony - Blue October
Everlasting Friend
A heartbeat skip, relationship
Inside a bubble bath
An icing drip below your lip
So we undo the math
A sudden slip between
My pathetic sedatives
A real-life script of how
Mistakes became our medicine, so
Delay the hurtful words
Of complicated overcast
Please take the message that I'm
Picking up my chin at last
I said my confidence
It gets stronger when you're next to me
But we pray from miles away
In quest for what we long to be
Chorus:
I might crumble, I might take a fall again
(Still missing you)
I might crumble, I might take a fall again
(Still missing you)
I might crumble, I might take a fall again
But you're my everlasting friend
Everlasting friend
A heartbeat skip, relationship
So we would stay up late
A teardrop drip below your lip
Beside the airport gate
A sudden slip from where
We used to be a year ago
A real-life script of how
Our hands would hold and not let go
But delay the mournful words
Of complicated overcast
Please take the message
That you taught me how to live at last
But I said my confidence
It gets stronger when you're next to me
But we wave respect goodbye
In quest for what we long to be, but
Chorus:
I might crumble, I might take a fall again
(Still missing you)
I might crumble, I might take a fall again
(Still missing you)
I might crumble, I might take a fall again
But you're my everlasting friend
Will you be coming home?
(Everlasting friend)
My everlasting friend, will you be coming home?
(Everlasting friend)
Chorus:
I might crumble, I might take a fall again
(Still missing you)
I might crumble, I might take a fall again
(Still missing you)
I might crumble, I might take a fall again
Mm-da-da-da mm-da-da-da da da-da-da
Mm-da-da-da da-da mm-da-da-da da da-da-da
Mm-da-da-da da-da mm-da-da-da da da-da-da
Mm-da-da-da da-da mm-da-da-da da da-da-da
I might crumble, I might take a fall again
I might crumble, I might take a fall again
I might crumble, I might take a fall again
I might crumble, I might take a fall again
I just want to know that you'll be coming home
I just want to know that you'll be coming home
I just want to know that you'll be coming home
I just want to know that you'll be coming home
**********
Track 11 on Foiled. This song was originally played at many 5591 shows.
Everlasting Friend - Blue October
Sound Of Pulling Heaven Down
Somewhere far away from here
I saw stars, stars that I could reach, yeah
It was a midnight silent twilight
It fell down beyond the ocean beach, yeah
I assemble all the sand
That cover wedding beaches
To build a castle
So your mom would have a place to stay
Behind the waterslide
And down the hill where heaven reaches
Land and time is left to float away, yeah
So rest assured I have the key to every opening
To every wishing well that's deep enough to dream
I wanna show you just how fascinating kissing is
When earth collides with all the space between, yeah
Chorus:
I'm reaching farther than I ever have before
Leaving all who broke your heart upon the shore
I may be some sort of crazy
We may be some sort of crazy
But I swear on everything I have and more
So never look behind you
Spooky people bring you down
The world is ending
There's a party by the bay
I wear my suit and tie
We're eye to eye and toasting to
The way you put that smile upon my face, yeah
Fill up the air balloon and ride with me
Yeah, hell is jealous of the rain
Make love like time and space is
Ending while befriending fate's
Alluring way of putting this to shame
Chorus:
I'm reaching farther than I ever have before
Leaving all who broke your heart upon the shore
I may be some sort of crazy
We may be some sort of crazy
But I swear on everything I have and more
You make the sound of pulling heaven down
You brought the rain's romantic pour
You make the sound, you make the sound
Of pulling heaven down
Chorus:
I'm reaching farther than I ever have before
(God, I've wasted time)
Leaving all who broke your heart upon the shore
(God, I've wasted time)
I may be some sort of crazy (Ah)
We may be some sort of crazy
But I swear on everything I have and more
(Go go go go)
Chorus:
I'm reaching farther than I ever have before
(God, I've wasted time)
Leaving all who broke your heart upon the shore
(God, I've wasted time)
I may be some sort of crazy (Ah)
We may be some sort of crazy
But I swear on everything I have and more
(Go go go go go go)
**********
This is my personal favorite song by Foiled and by Blue October. There is nothing wrong with it. The original version was sung a-capella near the end of concerts and can be found on the Argue With A Tree CD/DVD.
Sound Of Pulling Heaven Down - Blue October
Drilled A Wire Through My Cheek
I try to stay on top of you
To hold your body down
Your shaking seems to hinder
Every grasp that I had found
Moving every inch around you
To diffuse your private bomb
I stretch myself surrounding
And protecting you from harm
I use a wallet for your mouth
So when you bite you will not bleed
I drilled a wire through my cheek
And let it down and out my sleeve
And now you're pulling out the best of me
Yeah, which never ever comes
This wire's all that's left of me
And it's hooked within my gums
Within my gums
Chorus:
So drill it, so drill it
So hard, I feel it (so carry on)
So drill it, so drill it
So hard, I feel it (yes, and carry on)
It's proof to show I bleed for this
I'd cut myself to shame
To get to know this masochist
Who's stolen my first name
Pretending he's a teacher
Holding all my weight at ease
Yet the teacher seems to split in two
Destroying both his knees
And now crawling I position myself
Below your broken wings
I lift your feathered left arm
Where you hide your heart from me
I never noticed it was swollen
With a touch of brutal pain
I never knew a heart could live inside
The rust from all your rain
All your rain
Chorus:
So drill it, so drill it
So hard, I feel it (so carry on)
So drill it, so drill it
So hard, I feel it (yes, and carry on)
I didn't think to bring a washcloth
All to rub away the dirt
Myself and I we share
This barely beating heart of hurt
And when the hurt comes there's an argument
A fight to save a smile
A small attack on human tears
To dry them for awhile
A dream we all should count on
Yeah, a vision I believe
And where confidence is found
Attached to wires on our sleeve
And where loneliness is history
Told to pack your shit and leave
And where guidance is a fortune
Told to help in time of need
And where crying isn't secret
It's the art of how we grieve
And lessons are the key
To every goal I will achieve
I will achieve
Chorus:
So drill it, so drill it
So hard, I feel it (so carry on)
So drill it, so drill it
So hard, I feel it (yes, and carry on)
So drill it, so drill it (so hard) so carry on
So drill it, so drill it (so hard) yes, and carry on
(So hard, so hard)
**********
One of the best and weirdest songs Blue October has ever done. "Drilled A Wire" is an amazing rock song that moves from bass-oriented verses with creepy lyrics to an all-out powerchord chorus that sends chills down your spine. One of the longer songs in Justin's recorded career, it has three extensive verses, and yet never bores you for one second. It does not follow in the footsteps of past harder rock songs like Holler or Somebody, but moves instead toward newer ground.
Drilled A Wire Through My Cheek - Blue October
X Amount Of Words
Relapse prevent, trigger intent
Now drown, high strung say x amount of words
Your solar, bipolar panic disorder
Seems harder and harder and harder
Still you try to control it
You mold, you mold, yeah you shape to mold
Oh, you're bold, you're bold, but your shape is bold
You're a symptom superficial
To what they call knowing you
Minus the speed, could you imagine the phobia?
Chorus:
Oh, we're recording
Oh, we're recording
Your brain is faulty wiring, the reason for tiring
Keep treating the curse, imagine the worst
Systematic, sympathetic, quite pathetic
Apologetic, paramedic, your heart is prosthetic
A plate of quite peculiar on a dish of my own
A tablespoon of feather, tickle me to the bone
Give me recipes for happy with the chemicals gone
Drinking freedom from a bottle to the tune of belong
Chorus:
Oh, we're recording (I only want to be)
Oh, we're recording, we're recording (I can't believe)
Oh! (I only want to see)
Oh! (I can't believe)
Maybe (I only want to see)
Oh!
I'm sick of shaking, never waking
From the hell I achieve
I never knew you till you left me
With the crying disease
Another curing, reassuring way to buckle the knees
So mistreated, I repeated, never blessing your sneeze
Now deleted and defeated, I will stand on my own
Yeah, your memory that punches me
Has broken the bone
Give me recipes for sorry, I'm admitting I'm wrong
Still your memory that punches me
Has broken the bone
Chorus:
Oh, we're recording (I only want to see)
Oh, we're recording, we're recording (I can't believe)
Oh, we're recording (I only want to see)
Oh, we're recording, we're recording (I can't believe)
Maybe (I only want to see)
Maybe (I only want to see)
(Thank you very much, have a good night)
(Thanks so much)
**********
Probably the most electronic song Blue October has ever recorded, this is almost classifiable as techno. Still, it is addictive and shines, as always.
"This is a song called X Amount Of Words. And I wrote it at Mamie and my house, and I figured why not try this shit on your guys, so, here we go. It's a lot more complicated than I most...this is X Amount Of Words."
-Justin at Sidecar 09-28-02
X-Amount Of Words - Blue October
Overweight
Chorus:
Ever carried the weight of another?
For how long?
I walk as far as they need to recover
For how long? (ha!)
I want to carry a piece of who I was before
So when I hit the wall, I really hit the wall
I want to tear away the death again
A whiter shade of fucking meth again
I want to stick to clues, I want to come unglued
I want to shape the world to fit the way you move
Oh, should I listen for a dress size?
I owned up, I've grown up, do you remember me?
I showed up and so what if I'm the used to be
I'm here to tell you that I'm sorry I was sorry
But I'm happy that you're happy
This is no longer about me
Trade rules, switch sides for your beautiful eyes
Let him be you through your beautiful cries
Let him hold you up so you can touch affordable skies
Live your life just like a dream
Without the pain of goodbyes
Goodbye!
Chorus:
Ever carried the weight of another?
For how long?
I walk as far as they need to recover
For how long?
I been a drunk disrespectful little street punk
Unlock the back of my trunk
You see, you take this bat
And bash my head into the street again
No-ones around so I keep beating it
Pull my hair back, look me in the eye
There's a self-destructive meaning in the bleeding of a guy
It's the guilt of what reality has given me
Making sense of all mistakes and my stupidity
And when you're sick you seem to think
You've failed eternally
And that the people you let in are only crumbling
When you're sick of thinking life in this recovery
When my decision paved the road
That lies in front of me
So to my friends that even call but I don't call back
I want you deep inside my heart upon a hill
It seems to hide sometimes and run away and wonder
I'm really sick of saying sorry but I will
Chorus:
Ever carried the weight of another?
For how long?
I walk as far as they need to recover
For how long?
But are we scared to take the ride?
Or dare to look inside?
I'm floating far away (far away)
I'm floating far away (leaving home)
I'm floating far away (so far away)
I'm floating far away
I want to learn to walk with others as an equal
I want to treat the ones who love me with respect
I want to tell the world I'll give them all a piggyback
And try to take away my negative effect
I want to kiss the girl, I know I'll never lie again
I want to call my dad and tell him that I care
I want to let my brother know
He saved my life a thousand times
Throughout the years he's been my friend
Who's always there
Ever carried the weight of another?
For how long?
**********
Track 8 on Foiled. This song is absolutely amazing. Poppy, catchy, fun, with some of the best lyrics on the album. It was originally a poem entitled "Weight Of Another" that Justin spoke at shows.
Overweight - Blue October
Congratulations
(Da da da da da da da)
Is that seat taken? congratulations
Would you like to take a walk with me?
My mind it kind of goes fast
I'll try to slow it down for you
I think I'd love to take a drive
I want to give you something
I've been wanting to give to you for years
My heart
Chorus:
My heart, my pain won't cover up
You left me, ah ha ha ha (my heart)
My heart can't take this cover up
You left me, ah ha ha ha
I came to see the light in my best friend
You seemed as happy as you'd ever been
My chance of being open was broken
And now you're Mrs. Him
My words they don't come out right
But I'll try to say I'm happy for you
I think I'm gonna take that drive
I wanted to give you something
I've been wanting to give to you for years
My heart
Chorus:
My heart, my pain won't cover up
You left me, ah ha ha ha (my heart)
My heart can't take this cover up
You left me, ah ha ha ha
I can't change this
I can never take it back, but now
I can't change your mind
(You left me, ah ha ha ha)
And I can't take this
I can never take this back, but now
I can't change your mind
Can't change your mind
(You left me, ah ha ha ha)
Can't change your mind
(You left me, ah ha ha ha)
(You left me, ah ha ha ha)
(You left me, ah ha ha ha)
Go away
Make it go away
Please
**********
This is the new version of an old song, Congratulations. It is on Foiled, the new album, and it has improved since the live version, with added chorus lyrics and Imogen Heap singing on it.
Congratulations - Blue October
Let It Go
Where do you go
When my day is long
And where does your heart beat
And who is wrong?
Why do I feel this way?
Why do I kneel?
How could I let it go?
Why do I feel?
Why do I feel?
Why?
Ha
Follow me home
Through the, the maze and on
I'll show you the road
That I led you the wrong way on
Why did I go that way?
Why do I steal?
How I could let her go?
Why do I feel?
Oh, why did I go that way?
And why do I steal?
How could I let her go?
Why do I feel?
Why do I feel?
Why?
Why did I go that way? (why?)
Why do I kneel? (why?)
How could I let her go? (why?)
Why do I feel?
Oh, why did I go that way? (why?)
How could I steal? (why?)
Oh, how could I (why)
How could I (why) how could I
How could I?
How could I?
**********
Track 6 on Foiled, Let It Go is the first slow song on the album. It has a harmonica solo in the midst of it and is a very introspective song. It had been played live previously.
Let It Go - Blue October
Hate Me
Hey Just, this is your mother. It is 2:33 on Monday afternoon. I was just calling to see how you were doing; you sounded really uptight last night, made me a little nervous, and a little-and-well, it made me nervous that, you sounded like you were nervous too. And I just wanted to make sure you were really OK, and...just wanted to see if you were checking in on your medications. You know I love you! And I'll talk to you soon. Take care, honey, I know you're under a lot of pressure. See ya! Bye bye.
I have to block out thoughts of you
So I don't lose my head
They crawl in like a cockroach
Leaving babies in my bed
Dropping little reels of tape
To remind me that I'm alone
Play movies in my head
That make a porno feel like home
There's a burning in my pride
A nervous bleeding in my brain
An ounce of peace is all I want for you
Will you never call again?
And will you never say that you love me
Just to put it in my face
And will you never try to reach me
It is I that want this
Chorus:
Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you
Hate me in ways
Yeah, ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you
I'm sober now for three whole months
It's one accomplishment that you helped me with
The one thing that always tore us apart
Is the one thing I won't touch again
In my sick way I want to thank you
For holding my head up late at night
While I was busy waging wars on myself
You were trying to stop the fight
You never doubted my warped opinions
On things like suicidal hate
You made me compliment myself
When it was way too hard to take
So I'll drive so fucking far away
That I never cross your mind
And do whatever it takes in your heart
To leave me behind
Chorus:
Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you
Hate me in ways
Yeah, ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you
And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave
Kicking shadows on the street
For every mistake that I had made
And like a baby boy I never was a man
Until I saw your blue eyes cry
And I held your face in my hand
And then I found out, yelling "make it go away!
Just make a smile come back and shine
Just like it used to be"
And then she whispered "how can you do this to me?"
Chorus:
Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you
Hate me in ways
Yeah, ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you
For you
For you
For you
**********
This is the CD version of Hate Me from Foiled. There are four other versions - an acoustic version that's available with a preorder from the website, a shorter version on the Hate Me CD-single with a shorter first chorus, a radio version also on the CD-single that is the same as the shorter version, except censored and no intro or outro, and an older demo version with weaker singing on the chorus and less guitar.
When played live, Hate Me begins with the phone call too, a previously recorded sample.
Hate Me has become the defining single for Blue October, as in early 2006 it brought the band from semi-popularity to national stardom. There is a beautiful video for it, and it is topping alternative and rock charts.
"Basically, I was in L.A. for awhile, and going through some stuff...and my mom hadn't heard from me for three or four months, and she was just kinda getting worried about me and checking into see if I had re-upped all my medication. Which I hadn't. And she probably knew that, cause of mom's intuition, you know...they always know when something's wrong. And I actually realized at the beginning of that song that it wasn't just a song about relationships anymore, it was more of a song about a universal theme about not forgetting who's important to you, and things like that...so I wanted to add my mom into the beginning of that just cause you only get one chance at having a great relationship with everybody you're surrounded with."
-Justin 04-04-06
Hate Me - Blue October
What If We Could
What if we could
Put our lives on
Hold and meet some
Where inside of the world
I would meet you
Would you meet me? (two, three, four)
On a park bench
On a skyscrape
On a mountain
Oh yeah, whatever it takes
I would meet you
Would you meet me?
Chorus:
I'm glad to say that we met
I'm sad to say that the circumstances weren't
On our side
So go on, go on be your own
Go on be your own star
What if we could
Where would we go?
And if it felt right
Would you want me to know?
I would meet you
Would you meet me? (two, three, four)
Yeah, yeah, it's like a last chance
For a first dance
You're a sunrise
God, somehow exist
I would you meet
Would you meet me?
Chorus:
I'm glad to say that we met
I'm sad to say that the circumstances weren't
On our side
So go on, go on be your own
Go on be your own star
You're a superstar in my eyes
In my eyes
Look in my eyes
Just look in my eyes
My eyes, my eyes
What if we could
Put our lives on
Hold and meet some
Where inside of the world
I would meet you
Would you meet me? (two, three, four)
On a park bench
On a skyscrape
On a mountain
Oh yeah, whatever it takes
I would meet you
Would you meet me? (two, three, four)
God, I would
God, I would
I would meet you
Would you meet me?
I would meet you
I would meet you
**********
The fourth track on Foiled, this song is a rock version of an old 5591 song.
"This one's kind of a...we were on the road this weekend, and I was sorta working on this song, so it's kind of a babble. But I'd like to share a babble, if that's OK with you guys. It's called I Would Meet You."
-Justin at Sidecar 09-28-02
At Sidecar Xmas 2002, Justin messed up the chorus to the song and had to start over.
This is the new version of a song originally called I Would Meet You.
What If We Could - Blue October
