I lost a piece of me in you
I think I left it in your arms
I forget the reasons I got scared
But remember that I cared quite a lot
You see but lately I've been on my own
Yeah one, but one by choice
You see, that's a first for me
There's only me, yeah there's only me
And now I realize for once it's just me
It's just me
It's just me
And I'll find a way to make it
There's no-one left to stop me
Here I go
Can we take it from the top?
Chorus:
So why so long?
So sad, I wanna be strong.
Don't try to take this from me
I'm already spent living half my life undone
So why so long?
So sad, I wanna be strong
Don't try to take this from me
I've already spent my life living half undone
I've been talking to my aunts and uncles, mom and dad again
I've been finding out that I have what this world calls friends
I've tried to push them all away
They push me back and wanna stay
And that's one good thing I have
I'm gonna feel a peace in me
I'm gonna feel at home
I'm gonna make this cloud above me disappear, be gone
I wanna feel a punch inside my heartbeat on the floor
I don't wanna hurt no more
Yeah, it's just me
It's just me
And I'll find a way to make it
There's no-one left to stop me
Here I go, can we take it from the top?
Chorus:
So why so long?
So sad, I wanna be strong
Don't try to take her from me
I've already spent my life living half undone
So why so long?
So sad, I wanna be strong
Don't try to take her from me
I've already spent my life living half undone
I used to be the one who won before
I used to smile but don't no more
I'm living just to watch it all go by
**********
It's Just Me
18th Floor Balcony
I close my eyes and I smile
Knowing that everything is all right
To the core, so close that door
Is this happening?
My breath is on your hair
I'm unaware that you opened the blinds
And let the city in
God, you held my hand, and we stand
Just taking in everything
Chorus:
And I knew it from the start
So my arms are open wide
Your head is on my stomach
And we're, we're trying so hard not to fall asleep
Here we are on this 18th floor balcony
We're both flying away
So we talk about moms and dads
About family pasts
Just getting to know where we came from
Our hearts were on display for all to see
I can't believe this is happening to me
And I raise my hand
As if to show you that I was yours
That I was so yours for the taking
I'm so yours for the taking and
That's when I felt the wind pick up
I grabbed the rail while choking up
These words to say and then you kissed me
Chorus:
Yeah, I knew it from the start
My arms are open wide
Your head is on my stomach
And we're, we're trying so hard not to fall asleep
Here we are on this 18th floor balcony
We're both flying away
And I'll try to sleep
To keep you in my dreams
Till I can bring you home with me
I'll try to sleep
And when I do I'll keep you in my dreams
Chorus:
And I knew it from the start
So my arms are open wide
Your head is on my stomach
And we're, we're trying so hard not to fall asleep
So here we are on this 18th floor balcony, yeah
I knew it from the start
So my arms are open wide
And your head is on my stomach
No, we're not going to sleep
Hre we are on this 18th floor balcony
We're both flying away
**********
18th Floor Balcony is a beautiful Blue October song, introduced live. It is track 13 on Foiled. It appears on the DVD part of the live recording Argue With A Tree, though it was left off of the double CD.
An extract from an old, rare interview at HFS time, with Justin:
DMG: Is there any song you wish you hadn't made public?
Justin: Oh yeah, yeah. This one song that I played called "18th Floor Balcony". I really...it was written at a time where I wasn't thinking right, and it really hurt the relationship that I was in. I never really...it's only been played twice. Most people come up and play that and I just go (winces), "Man, c'mon! Not cool."
18th Floor Balcony - Blue October
Everlasting Friend
A heartbeat skip, relationship
Inside a bubble bath
An icing drip below your lip
So we undo the math
A sudden slip between
My pathetic sedatives
A real-life script of how
Mistakes became our medicine, so
Delay the hurtful words
Of complicated overcast
Please take the message that I'm
Picking up my chin at last
I said my confidence
It gets stronger when you're next to me
But we pray from miles away
In quest for what we long to be
Chorus:
I might crumble, I might take a fall again
(Still missing you)
I might crumble, I might take a fall again
(Still missing you)
I might crumble, I might take a fall again
But you're my everlasting friend
Everlasting friend
A heartbeat skip, relationship
So we would stay up late
A teardrop drip below your lip
Beside the airport gate
A sudden slip from where
We used to be a year ago
A real-life script of how
Our hands would hold and not let go
But delay the mournful words
Of complicated overcast
Please take the message
That you taught me how to live at last
But I said my confidence
It gets stronger when you're next to me
But we wave respect goodbye
In quest for what we long to be, but
Chorus:
I might crumble, I might take a fall again
(Still missing you)
I might crumble, I might take a fall again
(Still missing you)
I might crumble, I might take a fall again
But you're my everlasting friend
Will you be coming home?
(Everlasting friend)
My everlasting friend, will you be coming home?
(Everlasting friend)
Chorus:
I might crumble, I might take a fall again
(Still missing you)
I might crumble, I might take a fall again
(Still missing you)
I might crumble, I might take a fall again
Mm-da-da-da mm-da-da-da da da-da-da
Mm-da-da-da da-da mm-da-da-da da da-da-da
Mm-da-da-da da-da mm-da-da-da da da-da-da
Mm-da-da-da da-da mm-da-da-da da da-da-da
I might crumble, I might take a fall again
I might crumble, I might take a fall again
I might crumble, I might take a fall again
I might crumble, I might take a fall again
I just want to know that you'll be coming home
I just want to know that you'll be coming home
I just want to know that you'll be coming home
I just want to know that you'll be coming home
**********
Track 11 on Foiled. This song was originally played at many 5591 shows.
Everlasting Friend - Blue October
Sound Of Pulling Heaven Down
Somewhere far away from here
I saw stars, stars that I could reach, yeah
It was a midnight silent twilight
It fell down beyond the ocean beach, yeah
I assemble all the sand
That cover wedding beaches
To build a castle
So your mom would have a place to stay
Behind the waterslide
And down the hill where heaven reaches
Land and time is left to float away, yeah
So rest assured I have the key to every opening
To every wishing well that's deep enough to dream
I wanna show you just how fascinating kissing is
When earth collides with all the space between, yeah
Chorus:
I'm reaching farther than I ever have before
Leaving all who broke your heart upon the shore
I may be some sort of crazy
We may be some sort of crazy
But I swear on everything I have and more
So never look behind you
Spooky people bring you down
The world is ending
There's a party by the bay
I wear my suit and tie
We're eye to eye and toasting to
The way you put that smile upon my face, yeah
Fill up the air balloon and ride with me
Yeah, hell is jealous of the rain
Make love like time and space is
Ending while befriending fate's
Alluring way of putting this to shame
Chorus:
I'm reaching farther than I ever have before
Leaving all who broke your heart upon the shore
I may be some sort of crazy
We may be some sort of crazy
But I swear on everything I have and more
You make the sound of pulling heaven down
You brought the rain's romantic pour
You make the sound, you make the sound
Of pulling heaven down
Chorus:
I'm reaching farther than I ever have before
(God, I've wasted time)
Leaving all who broke your heart upon the shore
(God, I've wasted time)
I may be some sort of crazy (Ah)
We may be some sort of crazy
But I swear on everything I have and more
(Go go go go)
Chorus:
I'm reaching farther than I ever have before
(God, I've wasted time)
Leaving all who broke your heart upon the shore
(God, I've wasted time)
I may be some sort of crazy (Ah)
We may be some sort of crazy
But I swear on everything I have and more
(Go go go go go go)
**********
This is my personal favorite song by Foiled and by Blue October. There is nothing wrong with it. The original version was sung a-capella near the end of concerts and can be found on the Argue With A Tree CD/DVD.
Sound Of Pulling Heaven Down - Blue October
Drilled A Wire Through My Cheek
I try to stay on top of you
To hold your body down
Your shaking seems to hinder
Every grasp that I had found
Moving every inch around you
To diffuse your private bomb
I stretch myself surrounding
And protecting you from harm
I use a wallet for your mouth
So when you bite you will not bleed
I drilled a wire through my cheek
And let it down and out my sleeve
And now you're pulling out the best of me
Yeah, which never ever comes
This wire's all that's left of me
And it's hooked within my gums
Within my gums
Chorus:
So drill it, so drill it
So hard, I feel it (so carry on)
So drill it, so drill it
So hard, I feel it (yes, and carry on)
It's proof to show I bleed for this
I'd cut myself to shame
To get to know this masochist
Who's stolen my first name
Pretending he's a teacher
Holding all my weight at ease
Yet the teacher seems to split in two
Destroying both his knees
And now crawling I position myself
Below your broken wings
I lift your feathered left arm
Where you hide your heart from me
I never noticed it was swollen
With a touch of brutal pain
I never knew a heart could live inside
The rust from all your rain
All your rain
Chorus:
So drill it, so drill it
So hard, I feel it (so carry on)
So drill it, so drill it
So hard, I feel it (yes, and carry on)
I didn't think to bring a washcloth
All to rub away the dirt
Myself and I we share
This barely beating heart of hurt
And when the hurt comes there's an argument
A fight to save a smile
A small attack on human tears
To dry them for awhile
A dream we all should count on
Yeah, a vision I believe
And where confidence is found
Attached to wires on our sleeve
And where loneliness is history
Told to pack your shit and leave
And where guidance is a fortune
Told to help in time of need
And where crying isn't secret
It's the art of how we grieve
And lessons are the key
To every goal I will achieve
I will achieve
Chorus:
So drill it, so drill it
So hard, I feel it (so carry on)
So drill it, so drill it
So hard, I feel it (yes, and carry on)
So drill it, so drill it (so hard) so carry on
So drill it, so drill it (so hard) yes, and carry on
(So hard, so hard)
**********
One of the best and weirdest songs Blue October has ever done. "Drilled A Wire" is an amazing rock song that moves from bass-oriented verses with creepy lyrics to an all-out powerchord chorus that sends chills down your spine. One of the longer songs in Justin's recorded career, it has three extensive verses, and yet never bores you for one second. It does not follow in the footsteps of past harder rock songs like Holler or Somebody, but moves instead toward newer ground.
Drilled A Wire Through My Cheek - Blue October
